Friday, July 15, 2011

My amazing burglary skills...

I figured it was Friday and a good day to post and even though I missed the  MamaKat posting day I went to her for a prompt and came across this gem.  Couldn't have been more perfect.  Enjoy.

1.) Write about a time you had to crawl through a window.

It was a beautiful summer day...a bit on the hot side, but bright and sunny....perfect for getting a little tan on my glowing white skin.  At the time, I lived in the third floor apartment and we had the cutest little deck off the back of the house that rested right on the peek of the roof from the floor below (picture this...its important later).  I don my tiniest of bathing suits to avoid tan lines knowing that no one can see me on the back deck and grab my iPod, a towel, and a bottle of water and walk out, closing the one door back into the house behind me.

Fast forward about an hour later....I am sufficiently fried, my water is gone, and I'm starting to get a little woozy so I figure its time to head out of the sun and cool off.  I gather everything up and go to open the door....and the knob doesn't turn.  I try it again, thinking maybe the sun has gotten to me.  Nope.  Nothing.  I have locked myself onto my little 6'x6' deck 3 stories up in 90+degree heat.  Lovely.  Panic sets in when I realize that I will be home alone for at least the next 5 hours!  I could be dead by that point!  So I take action.

If you read this normally, you know that I'm a fairly athletic person (klutzy yes, but somewhat coordinated when I need to be), so I haul bikini-clad self over the railing of the deck and lower myself onto the STEEP pitch of the roof below...and realize the black roof is burning hot!  I try desperatly to scramble back up onto the deck, but can't quite get the leverage I need while alternating which foot I'm standing on. Realizing this will never work, I turn around and crab walk (not sure why that seemed intelligent) down the roof to the much flatter roof of the second story.  Once there I find a little bit of shade and sit down to contemplate my next move.  I look around to see if there's anyone I can call to....there isn't.  Which is good because that also means that no one has seem the woman in the bikini just scale her roof, but bad because I'm still stuck two stories up.  I look over the edge of the roof and try to calculate how far the drop would be if i hung all 5'3" of me from the gutter and figure that its prob still a good 20 feet....not doing that.  Soooo I lay on my back on the roof of the second story and figure I'll wait for my lovely husband to come home and rescue me....and then I notice that I'm staring at the window of the 2nd floor apt.  Wooh!  I knock on the two windows that I can see and call to whoever may be inside...and no one answers.  At this point, I'm, sweaty, practically naked, and a bit light I try to open the window...locked.  To this day I'm still not sure how I actually got the window open, but I think I had one of those superhuman strength moments...and before I knew it I was in the apartment.  I quietly closed the window and tiptoed through their apartment (not sure why I one was home), out their front door, and back up the stairs to my apartment where I put some aloe on my burned to shit feet and took a well deserved nap.

How about you?  Ever broken into anywhere?

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