Ten Things My Mother Taught Me....

This may be a difficult post to get through without getting all teary, but here goes...

1.  How to make "hospital corners" with the bedsheets when making the bed.  It's still the only way I can sleep.

2.  Never quit in the middle....even if you hate what you're doing.  If you made a commitment finish it.  Once its finished you can always stop.

3.  It's okay if my house isn't spotless as long as my family is happy and healthy (she taught me this one a bit later in life).

4.  That Whopper Juniors from Burger King are the perfect way to beat a little bit of stress.

5.  To suck in my gut and squeeze my bum when I walk...along with holding your shoulders back. 

6.  Table manners.  We went to a fancy New Year's Eve dinner as a family each year just so that we knew how to eat properly.  Sadly, I forget a lot of this :)

7.  How to get all dolled up for a boy....but that that isn't what it's all about.

8.  It's okay to be a strong woman...and we are strong women.

9.  But it's also okay to know when you need someone to lean on.

10.  And most importantly, she taught me what love is.  How to love and how to be loved.  That one right there is the greatest gift I could ask for.

And there's the tears....

And this way yet again, another response to Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.

WTF Tuesday...

A mommy board that I post on does a WTF Friday each week.  I decided that it needed to be done today instead for me.  I am in a spicy mood and figure this blog is a good outlet.  Here goes....

WTF weather....I thought you were going to toss a few nice springlike days my way on my last week home with Evan to enjoy.

WTF America...Why can't you give women year long maternity leave like Canada.

WTF Work...I've been asking you for work for three weeks and you haven't given me any.  Now you dump these hopeless projects on me that need to be done ASAP because you dilly-dallied.  The worst part is that I know you only handed them off because you hit a roadblock and didn't want to deal with it.

WTF Fever....Again, it's my last week home with little man and you creep up on me.  And if you even think of sneaking up on Evan I may just have to kick your temperature-increasing, chill and painful skin-inducing, headache creating, bowel wrenching fever ass.  No one messes with my little man.

WTF Squirrel....Why did you have to run in front of my car?  I tried to stop but out of fear of throwing poor Evan through the windshield I couldn't in time and now I feel really bad.  I know you got away, but I def hit you.

WTF guy at the gas station....I told you his name was Evan and refered to him as "he" several times....and he's wearing a very boyish outfit yet you still insist on telling me what a "beautiful little girl I have."  Really?  Maybe that's why you work at a gas station? (ouch....that was harsh)

WTF guy with the obnoxious lisence plate.  It said "DRS+ESQ" then they had a sticker with an equal sign next to it followed by the logo for their SAAB.  Does this really mean what I think it means?  Are you really that much of a tool?

Phew....I feel lots better now.  And a big thank you to Handy Manny who has kept Evan occupied while I got out this rant.  Off to be a better mother now...

Back to work, Back to work, to prove to dad I'm not a jerk....

Hehe....get what I did there.  Adam Sandler anyone?  Ah well, silly humor.

So the realization set in the other day that I have to go back to work one week from tomorrow.  WTF?!?  Where did my three months go?  I am sooooo not looking forward to going back to work.  As some of you may recall I posted previously about four of my co-workers here and here.  The loud talker and the Annoyance are no longer there, but the Gopher and my boss still are.  And we have a few new people around the office that I'm sure will be interesting conversation starters. I know we have loud sneezers and talkers and other interesting folks to talk about.
I called in during their weekly meeting this past week and wanted to cry sitting here on my couch.  Partly because I have to leave my sweet little man in the hands of someone else....someone else will get to share his smiles through the day and see him reach his milestones.  Partly because I have to go back to that nuthouse.  Ah well....at least I'll have some writing fodder as this blog has been getting fairly mundane as of late.

Keep your fingers crossed that I manage to get myself back in the classroom next fall or I may have to check myself into a mental institution...

A Memorable Neighbor....

Yet another response to Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.  Today's prompt was to write about a memorable neighbor.  I had trouble chosing just one, but decided to talk about Peter (and I feel comfy using his name because I am positive that he will never ever read this blog).  Peter was the single man in his 40s that lived next door to my family growing up.  He was meticulous about his yard, disliked children, had a cat that was his world....yep....one of those.  Now despite the fact that he lived in a neighborhood FULL of kids he really didn't like us...except for some reason me.  Peter actually liked me.

Now I was an inquisitive little bugger (still am) and I attribute the fact that I went into science to this personality trait.  I was that kid that would ask a million questions and expected answers to all of them.  I loved to talk to "grown ups" and have "grown up" talks.  I vividly remeber that whenever Peter was in his yard or his driveway I would run over and we would have hour long talks about dinosaurs and the stars and other strange things. 

Things started to go south with Peter and I when I began to lose my childlike charm (ha!).  I always fed Peter's beloved cat, Jasper, when he was out of town and I took great pride in that job (especially because Peter loved Jasper so much....Jasper even got a tombstone in the backyard when he passed away...yep).  Anyhoo, one time Peter returned home and instantly came over to talk to my mother.  I sat in my room shaking in my boots over what I could have possibly done wrong.  When Peter left my mother called me into the room and asked me if I had been snooping around Peter's house.  I wracked my little kid brain and told he that the only thing I had done was looked under the bed in Peter's room for Jasper because I couldn't find him.  Apparently Peter knew that because I had left footprints in the rug.  What?!?  Then my sister and I got in trouble a few years later because we ate two Hershey Kisses out of the candybowl on his counter.  Again, WTF?!?  Did he count them????

I heard that Peter got married a few years ago....I would love to meet that lady..... :)

You Know You're a Mom When

I'm finally starting to feel like I've had some good mom experiences so I thought I'd toss this out there.
You know you're a mom when,

1. You can carry a purse, diaper bag, travel seat, bag of library books, and an umbrella into a building in the pouring rain and do so without dropping anything and while remaining completely dry.
2. You forget what its like to do something with two hands.
3. And along that same line, one arm muscle is much more developed than the other.
4. Poop is a normal conversation topic.
5. You have to remind yourself not to answer the phone in baby talk.
6. You know the theme songs to Little Einsteins, the Wiggles, and Handy Manny.
7. You suddenly remeber the lyrics to all the nursery rhymes you used to know.
8. 9pm is late.
9. You have pacifiers strategically tucked into most every room of the house and have a few in the car, just in case.
10. You can't seem to remember what life was like before kids....and you don't really want to either.

What's yours?