Writer's Workshop

Once again I’m going to attempt to respond to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop…The prompt was to describe an ER moment so I figure that I’ll give you a few…


I am kind of a klutz (alright, that may be the understatement of the year!) and while I don’t have any funny stories while at the ER I have a few funny stories that have taken me to the ER. I figure I’ll share a few fun stories with you all. One involves me and the ER, the other involved a friend and the ER (the story is just too good to pass up.)

1. Remember that I am a klutz. I was also a gymnast growing up and would frequently practice things around the house. I turned the railing on my deck into a balance beam, the arm of the couch into a vault, my swing set into uneven bars (you get the idea). I decided that it would be a brilliant idea to also turn our kitchen counter into a balance beam and to practice my new mount….while home alone….babysitting. Sadly enough, I was old enough to baby-sit when I did this…. In my infinite wisdom and grace I somehow managed to fall off the countertop backwards with my ass hitting the ground first. That hurt so badly that it was pretty much my focus. It wasn’t until my cousin looked and my sock and noticed the rapidly expanding red splotch (uh-oh). Turns out that I caught my heel on the (blunt) corner of our dishwasher. Emergency room here I come. The ER docs were impressed when I got there because I had actually hollowed out a huge chunk of my heel which is apparently quite the feat. Although it was pretty embarrassing to explain that yes, my 17 year old self had fallen off a counter while doing gymnastics….
2. And apparently we don’t get smarter as we get older. Last year (so yes we are in our mid to late 20s here) hubby and I went up north with another couple friend to go skiing. We drove about 3.5 hours and got to the mountain to find the WORST conditions ever. People were trying to sell their lift tickets to us it was so bas so we decided to try something else. Girl Buddy knew someone in the area who had a cabin so we went to visit and ended up having a few beers. After a few beers it becomes a good idea to strap skis to your feet, build a massive jump, and attach a tow rope to a snowmobile (do you see where this is going?). One broken leg later we decided that it wasn’t such a good idea.

Hope you enjoyed a good laugh at my expense….any other good stories out there???

Busy busy

Sorry for not posting in a while...I've been keeping myself busy with the new house!  I had a crazy busy weekend and for your viewing pleasure here are some before and after pictures.  Keep in mind that my house is currently a disaster area and that I don't have trim or curtains up in most rooms....

Here's a quick slideshow to show you some of our handiwork...

Notice that all of the walls/trim/ceilings were ALL the same color....at least that's improved.

Our dumb world...

I was looking through the bargain books at Barnes & Noble the other day and came across this beauty for only $5.

Apparently I am a bit more cynical than I thought I was (either that or my dry sense of humor is just kicking in) but this book is hysterical!  It's done by the Onion which is one of my favorite websites because it never fails to make me laugh and basically runs though all of the countries in the world and makes fun of them.  I'm not sure if I can post any excerpts for copyright reasons, but suffice it to say that if you are sarcastic you will LOVE this book.  And how can you beat $5!

In other news....I can't make my computer stop centering this type.  Hmmm....

In other other news....It's Trivia Tuesday so here's your super fun fact of the day.

The uncut stone that later became the Hope Diamond was smuggled from India to France in a horse's rectum.

I don't think I care....I'd still own it....and wear it (if that were possible).

And one more just because I think it's cool...

Fleas mate for life.

Help! I need ideas!

Alright bloggy folks…I have a challenge for you.


My cubicle at work needs help…desperately. I’ve never worked in an office environment before and now I have this sterile, gray cubicle that I’m finding depressing. I have minimal crafty vision and I know that some of you guys have some fantastic ideas/vision. Help!!!  How can I make my cube more homey?

Epic fail...

NaBloPoMo has turned into an epic fail. I haven’t posted in over a week (I think)! This got me thinking about other epic fails that have happened. Now, in my mind an epic fail isn’t this catastrophic, life changing event. Rather is it something goofy that you do over the course of an average day that’s pretty darn funny to look back on, but kind of sucks at the moment. Luckily for you all I have TONS of those (like last week when I managed to spill my entire glass of red wine into my soup bowl. Positive: no red wine stains….Negative: no red wine). Here’s a few that epic fails that I can think of off the top of my head.


1. Drunken Dancing - There isn’t a particular story behind this one, but instead encompasses pretty much every time I drink and decide that I can dance as well as beyonce. I can think of one time in particular at the campground that I was feeling pretty wonderful and decided to cut a rug at a campground dance (hmmmm). I thought I kicked ass and that this cute little girl was staring because I was sooooooo good. Right. In reality I think I probably looked a bit like Elaine from Seinfeld.

2. Falling in a Sink - I am a high school teacher. For those of you who have never had the privilege of stepping foot in front of a classroom, sometimes it takes a little looniness to gain their attention. In a past life I was a gymnast and I like to think that I still have some of that coordination. I am also horribly short and sometimes like making myself a little taller. My old classroom had lab benches that went all around the classroom and made for a perfect little elevated walkway. Until I stepped into a sink….and feel off said lab bench. I don’t think my kids remembered what I was teaching about at that moment.

3. Security Breach at Los Pantalones - Sometimes when teaching students will giggle at you when you get in front of the class. Usually this means that my pant leg is tucked into my sock or I spilled something on myself so I usually respond with a standard, “What…is my fly down?” Makes for a pretty funny moment when it actually is.

4. Locking myself on a 3rd floor deck…On a 90 degree day…in full sun…in my bathing suit….with no one home. I ended up having to break into my neighbors apt. by shimmying down the roof (in a two piece….cute) and breaking in to their window. Nice. Luckily they weren’t home and I walked away with burned feet, minor dehydration, and a great story!

How bout you guys? Any epic fails?

Trivia Tuesday #2

Today's trivia fact will probably gross some of you out.  If you are squeamish at all about your food, you may not want to read on.  You've been warned....

The FDA allows an average of 30 or more insect fragments and one or more rodent hairs per 100 grams of peanut butter.

Hehe...I told ya.  I personally don't really care though.  I've eaten a lot of peanut butter in my lifetime and I'm still alive.  I know that there's also a lot of other allowances that the FDA makes on food products (like various grade meats having certain fillers, etc.).  Again, I don't care.  I love myself a good old fashioned hot dog or a McDonald's hamburger (insect parts and all!). 

I actually wonder sometimes if we are too clean for our own good.  We use so many antibacterial products and overuse antibiotics to a point where not only are bacteria becoming resistant to these things, but we aren't helping out our immune systems.  In fact, allergy rates in "wealthy" nations are considerably higher than in poorer nations.  The thought is that we are so clean that our immune systems are attacking things like dust and pet dander rather than the bad bugs they should be attacking.  Hmmm....

Now that I'm off my soapbox...that really is just my excuse for why my house is a mess :)

Inspired...

I was inspired by this blog of a friend of mind to join in on NaBloMoPo (?...at least I think that's what its called).  All it means is that for the month of November you post every day.  I'm not sure that I have the ability to make that type of commitment (in addition to the fact that my life just isn't that interesting) but I'll give it a try.

Soooo...

What to say...

I had my cousin and my sister over last night for dinner.  It was fun and made me realize how much I missed being away.  There's nothing better than yummy beef stew that I didn't cook shared over some wine/beer with a side of good conversation.  I don't know if you really appreciate your family until you get older.  I have a very close family.  My mom is one of four girls all who had at least three children and who got the troops together for practially every holiday growing up.  Because of that I still have fantastic relationships with the majority of my cousins.  Growing up it was kind of a given that they'd always be around, but as we started to get older and move away that wasn't always the case.  I miss the big noisy holidays that seem to be happening with less frequency.  We always seem to end up at my aunt's for Thanksgiving though....wooh!

But where was I going with this?  Oh, right...I was making the point that its great to chat with people who have known you literally since you were born and who know all of your dirty laundry and still love you unconditionally.

In other news....I have officially been exposed to the swine....keep your fingers crossed that my teacher immune system is still in tact.

Kitties!

I got two new kitties yesterday.  They are 9 weeks old and absolutly adorable.  They're brother and sister and they get along great!  They've been inseperable since we got them in the house and are finally starting to get a bit comfy.  This is Jinx... (he's a boy)

And this is Gemma... (she's a girl)

Think they like each other?

And they cuddle...so freakin cute!